Tikkun in Marriage – typing up the loose ends in History

We are embarking on an incredible journey, starting this week, Wednesday, June 3rd, beH.
As women living in our times, we are being invited to embody a new potential.
Over these past months, I have felt an emergence of more truth as the world has shed its outer layers. 
Or perhaps the truth about things has just surfaced more?
Despite the level of challenge, ironically, have you felt better positioned to come into your tikkun in a way you never have before?
Your femininity and how you relate to it doesn’t express itself as much as it does in your marriage.  Your marriage, like you and your partner, have never been here before.  It is completely unique. 

And yet, there is no doubt that there is something unnamed happening in the area of marriage in our generation.  This is what I am here to name and guide you through on a pathway of growth, from -> lonely, unfulfilled, unmet, perhaps confused as to what’s not working to –> empowered, alive, dignified and (yes!) feminine! 

I am inviting you to come and explore what I feel is the secret to our generation’s struggles.  Come and learn with me, burst through your subconscious blocks and arrive on the other side with a paradigm that is aligned to the soul of our generation.
I think it is fool-proof.
 I can’t wait to see what will blossom here.
(This version of the Sarah course is focused on marriage but is also appropriate for anyone intensely curious about the male-female dynamic.  Other programs and tracks coming soon so stay tuned.)

This is the area of our final rectification and holds the potential to unlock a dimension of power that you can’t imagine.
I think it is a big part of the soul work of women in our generation. 
You will feel like a new doorway is opening, as we did, when we discovered these secrets 😉

Click here to read more about the Sarah course.

In the Chava course, we gave language to the emergence of a new type of woman, and gave birth to the “higher feminine archetype”.   (This is the missing link that explains EVERYTHING we are experiencing today regarding the confusion women feel – and is part of the foundations you will get from the Chava course.  CLICK HERE)

But just knowing this isn’t enough when it comes to marriage.
We need to learn how to actively embrace, own, and integrate the “higher feminine” into our lives.
 We need to sift what is “klipa” (extraneous to Torah) and consume only what is “pri” (the inner dimension and truth of Torah).

Join me and find your truest feminine voice, learn how to express it to transform your life, while bringing out the best in your spouse and yourself.

  • Learn how to access essential love  (defined as the love that is already within you), evoke and receive love from your partner
  • Let go of your “da’as d’sitra achra”  (your false center) and get a whole lot of clarity about what is hijacking us
  • Learn how to imbibe your higher feminine and perform the ultimate tikkun that Sarah did following on exactly where Chava left off
  • Learn how to flourish into authentic feminine leadership (also called Malchut) – your family will love this
  • Learn how to go from CHAVA to CHAYA to CHEDVA!  
  • Come to appreciate how Sarah’s story perfectly foreshadows ours


I will end with a quote from the Me’or V’Shemesh:
אי אפשר לאדם להשיג אלקות מבלי שידבק עצמו לאבות שהיו לתכלית מרכבה למידות
” it is impossible to a person to reach G-dliness without first attaching himself to his fathers (and mothers) who were the ultimate in being a “chariot” (embodying Hashem’s middot/attributes)

8:00pm South African time, 2:00 pm NY, 9:00 Israel
Live on zoom or call in on your phone 
(Recordings available in mp3)

NOTE: If you haven’t already I recommend that you do the CHAVA COURSE!
You can sign up to the Chava course AND the Sarah course together to receive $50 off school tuition HERE  (and participate at your own pace – email us to guide you)
You can pay school fees monthly if you prefer 

“Sarah” comes with:
7 live sessions (+ an 8th bonus session) of 90 minutes a week with powerful insights on the four levels of Torah 

with guided practical applications and a toolkit
a supportive community with ongoing support
your source pack with translations, diagrams, and worksheets
PLUS Free access to my “Torah approach to intimacy” coming soon! 
AND free access to my “Understanding the Essence of Shema” coming soon! 

“This series was like hearing my name when I had forgotten who I was” Goldie
“I pray that the women take advantage of this wonderful opportunity” Rebbitzen Tzipora Heller-Gottleib

Email info@thenexus.org with your queries
South African enrollment and rand fees via email only 

If you missed my free Rise! into your Aishet Chayil free ebook (written in a week! with love! – this was the rush version and unedited!) you can still get it HERE 

Looking forward to a rich Torah term with you,

All my love,

Good erev Yontif!

With immense gratitude to Hashem, I present to you a free ebook in honor of Shavuot.

It is called;

Spinning the Story of Feminine Growth through Torah

My heart is full and I am grateful.

There are hundred reasons why this is the Torah of the moment.  

It is designed to print.  
(Set your printer to print 2 sides per sheet.)

Thank you to all the people who made this possible.

This is my free gift to Jewish women everywhere for Yom Tov.

Be aware that it contains mystical secrets.  The “sod” level of interpreting the verses of the Aishet Chayil poem is presented in italics, which means that you can either skip that part and it will still make perfect sense or rush straight to them 😉

Everything is there.You will see how each verse relates to a different woman in Torah, and discover what her special gifts were, and how she rectified the original woman, Chava (19 in Gematria!)

You will also learn about the Supernal Aishet Chayil on High.

I think a lot of things will fit into place for you.

I cannot wait to hear how it goes.

Feeling inspired?  Have a question? 
Post your insights, breakthroughs and questions on the Aishet Chayil community forum where you will meet hundreds of other women on the same mission (you’ll find it on your dashboard.)

The poem by nature is describing a married woman but the mystical interpretation has nothing to do with your marital status. 

We are all married to Hashem and that is the energy flowing into the world tomorrow night!

So without further ado…

HERE it is! 

~ 19 women in 22 verses ~

You’ll find the Aishet Chayil community forum HereIf you would like to receive the ebook in your inbox and do not have internet, please request it from info@thenexus.org.

I have also uploaded a piece of my solo piano, a song called “Boi Kallah, Come my Bride”.



BH … after a whole year of waiting… She has arrived.
She was the first Jewish woman…
She leaves the curses given to womankind far behind her…
Her’s is an epic struggle while she sought to speak her truth 
She had to refine herself in the school of life and marriage before her words could properly be received and transform the world. 
You will see yourself in her story, as I do.
She is Sarah.
She is femininity redeemed.

(Before I go on: we are having different tracks to more finely meet your needs as your step into your fullest potential as a woman living in the times of the ikvese d’misheche (our pre-Messianic times).
There are many of you that have not yet met your basherts… and many of you who have been through divorce.  A special program just for you is coming soon where I will be addressing the Rise of Femininity for Singles.  Stay tuned!)

Warning: this is a full-blown marriage course
And Hashem is the Master-therapist.
He cupped Sarah’s growth and transformation in His own “Hands”.
The stakes were the entire Jewish people to emerge from her sweet victories. 

What is a pre-Messianic Marriage? 
It was the marriage that Sarah shaped.
It will surprise you.
True to her name, the woman who became the paragon of influence – had a journey to travel.
The Baal Shem Tov calls the path הכנעה to הבדלה to המתקה – submission, separation, sweetening.
It parallels the Niddah, the days of separation and Mikve.  
It is real, and filled with paradox.
For the courageous of heart.

These are some of the spiritual and emotional areas of inner work we will be addressing in LIVE webinar format.  Here you will finally get to meet the other women in the school!

In the second series of the Rise! into your (Higher) Feminine series, you will learn how to:

  • come into your authentic feminine leadership
  • Make Hashem your Partner in the blossoming of your home
  • Remove toxicity and break the spell of vicious cycles
  • Evoke your partner’s best masculinity by revealing your essential self 
  • Identify the energy blocks in your relationship
  • Stop projecting and become conscious 
  • Break enmeshment and unhealthy attachments
  • Release long-held expectations
  • Allow for the death of your false self (this is optional 🙂 as it is advanced inner work, but seems to be the order of the day!)

Basically, get out of a rut.


You will be invited to:

  • blend your lower and higher feminine gifts together 
  • contain and nurture your energy so it is available for what’s important to you
  • learn how to speak from a place of true connection and have that be felt

We will explore:

  • How did Sarah find her true voice, a soft, still and steady voice (that is still reverberating through Jewish history, today)?
  • How did she become the quintessential Aishes Chayil (with candles alight from erev shabbos to erev shabbos, challah that never went stale and a cloud of Shechina hovering above her home)?
  • How did she become the crown to Avraham and what does this mean?

One thing is certain: it wasn’t at the expense of her femininity.  
And yet her prophecy was higher and deeper than was Avraham’s. 
It was from this place that she cultured her motherhood (אמהות) and shaped the next generation.

My goal is to give words to this path in bringing light to vessel b’siyatta dishmaya within our beautiful community.

As Sarah was, we too are “pre-Messianic women” and have enormous untapped potential that we unleash when we connect to our Imahos.

  • Did you ever realize that the same triggers will keep on coming up until we heal them…

Did you know that: 

  • Avraham and Sarah’s names had to change in order for their mazal to change? 
  • Sarah was the essence of Bina and wove her understanding into the fabric of life..
  • Sarah was the matriach who didn’t even have a womb? 

Jewish marriage is super-natural and heals the world.

We need to bring our super-conscious gifts to the table. 

Join me Wednesday evenings, LIVE 
7 sessions
Starting Wednesday June 3rd, 8:00 p.m. South Africa, 9:00 pm Israel, 7:00 pm London, 2:00 pm New York time
(Sessions will be recorded)
Click HERE or on the image to enroll.

To enroll with Rands, contact info@thenexus.org. 
All Nexus programs are available in MP3 format.

This is unlike any post I have made – or will ever again likely make!  It is a stroll down memory lane, an insight into a my past, an introduction to a cherished friend, and, of course, a mystical commentary into life.  Something about this period of lock-down strips away the masks we wear as we meet life in the raw and confront ourselves, at home.  It is in this spirit that I share this with you.  The year was 1999.

This piece comes with a story and a dedication. 
The story is as follows:  I unknowingly illustrated this short book as a gift to myself.  My friend, who you will come to know, wrote this story about two “pens” that were meant to symbolize ourselves.  Through this story (she was all of 19 years old at the time she wrote this, myself 18), in a style that appears simple but beguiles ageless wisdom, she was helping me grieve the transitions of life.  I was on my way to Israel for my seminar year at the BJJ teacher’s seminary for women. In truth, ______ was a year older than me and had already made the seminary transition the year before.  My own departure from our home city, St Louis, in ’99 was just an echo of her departure to her seminary, Bnos Chava in ’98.  So though it appears that I was the one leaving, in truth, she was coming to help me cope with losing her.  This theme repeated itself again when she got married during the years that followed.  

A budding writer, she told me that she had entered a writing competition and needed some illustrations for her book, but that she was not allowed to show anyone her story.  Handing me a list of illustrations, I duly produced some pictures.  Imagine my surprise and delight when they landed back in my hands with a tale of understanding, hope and love, spun through the heart and pen of my best friend.

So that is my dedication.  Bonds that are formed through growing closer to G-d is the stuff, or glue, of true friendship.  Thank you to an eternal and special friend that widened the shape of my heart and provided me with the vessel of friendship to help me see my own light.  

She named the main characters “Stae” and “Pull”.  This was meant to be the idea of connection (in Hebrew, “glue” is devek which means to connect, and by eccentric and creative extension, staples (stae-pul) are friends!)  Stae also hides the name my closest family and friends call me (Tay).  What she didn’t imagine was that the essence of the story is about gracefully moving through life and not getting fixated on any one stage, but embracing every part of life as a necessary chapter of growth.  In this sense, Stae could actually mean Stay (as in, staying behind) versus Pull (surrendering to the tug towards the future) and perfectly describes the tension we feel as we constantly convert our pasts into our futures through the transient present moment. 

She ends her story (she was like a teen psychologist on site!) with the words, “Where are the next chapters?  They are coming…”  Little does she know that what I had learned in the university of friendship as a teen has indeed laid the foundation of so much of my work today. Indeed, we all carry a piece of Hashem’s beauty and are essentially joined to each other through an eternal network of intricate connections that are woven through the hub of connecting to G-d and therefore our true selves.


Thank you to all my friends, on all their shelves. 

By Mirah Langer, as printed in the Jewish Report, April 2nd 

“The changing of the world starts at home – and it starts between the spouses,” asserts Rebbetzin Tamar Taback, a pioneer in women’s Torah study. It’s a reflection which takes on a new poignancy as the world returns to the home as a haven during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Taback’s focus is the interrogation of Jewish femininity. “As we approach the times of Moshiach [the Messiah] there is a predicted and undeniable rising of feminine energy.”
Yet, conventionally, the way Jewish femininity and its association with the domestic realm has been interpreted can make it seem a “lesser” entity.
“It’s ironic, because Judaism has always respected its women, but suddenly, after feminism, Judaism was put on the back foot because of the feminist movement and its claims of ,‘Why are the women in the kitchen, and why can’t they read from the Torah, and why is there a mechitza [room divider for men and women at religious functions]? Why don’t they put on tefillin  phylacteries]?’ “As a Jewish woman, that’s going to affect your relationship with G-d because maybe you’re going to think you aren’t loved in the same way.”
However, notes Taback, who is also a musician, artist, and the mother-of-seven, “just because
the world doesn’t appreciate something, it doesn’t mean it isn’t intrinsically beautiful”.
“The world doesn’t validate motherhood, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the holiest thing
you could do. Just because something is put in the foreground or given high salaries,
it doesn’t mean that’s where fulfilment is.”
For Jewish women, there is no onesize-fits-all policy of how to develop their sense of spirituality. However, what there is, said Taback, is the Torah’s great depth of commentary on femininity.
It’s this source which Taback has made it her life’s mission to unpack as the founder of Nexus, an onlineplatform for Torah learning for women around the world.
Taback, who is Johannesburg-born and based, grew up in St Louis in the United States. Born into a family that didn’t start out as religious, her parents gradually took on Orthodoxy as she
entered into her teenage years.
As her parents embarked on their religious journey, Taback said she, too, sought her own particular path within this sphere, specifically in understanding her role as a Jewish
woman. She found resonance within the mystical realm of Torah teaching.
“I had this thirst. It was really uncommon for a woman to be so interested in the mystical tradition.”
She remembers as revelatory Rabbi Akiva Tatz’s book, Living Inspired, and a lecture at the Neve seminary in Israel about the sun and the moon.
“I started to understand that the feminine and masculine are two sides of the same coin of the universe – intrinsically, there’s no preference between one or the other.”
“The world is struggling, people are struggling. So many women cut off one part of themselves or the other. The first step is to come back to basics, claim Jewish femininity, and find its spirituality.
“It’s not an easy thing to do in today’s world, especially if you’re a highly creative, highly ambitious, highly intelligent woman. How then do you balance your maternal instinct with your desire for a career?
“That balance is elusive, and you’re constantly course-correcting. It becomes about giving yourself
permission to engage with your spiritual needs and identity.”
Taback, who has been teaching Torah to women for almost two decades, said there was a real hunger for this from women across all ages and levels of religious affiliation.
“What they have in common is that they are aspiring and evolving.
Each woman is living out the story of femininity in her way. There are these
motifs from the Torah that are threading through all our lives.”
Now is the time, posits Taback, that women need to support each other.
“We are ashamed of struggling. Even though so many of us are having so
many of the same struggles, we don’t share them.”
She hopes her digital platform, which allows Jewish women to collaborate across the world, will facilitate this.
Taback suggests that when women develop their sense of spiritual femininity, it will also enrich their connections with men.
“Divorce rates are high, and happy marriages are rare. In this reality, there is a lot to a woman having a strong spiritual self-definition. If she wakes up her spiritual being, she has respect for
herself; she has compassion for others. She will act differently from a woman
who feels disempowered; she will show up differently in her marriage.”
Furthermore, as important as it is for women to embrace spiritual femininity, it’s equally important
for Jewish men to explore their masculinity.
“Just like there’s traditional femininity, there’s traditional masculinity – the idea of the macho, the giver, the strong provider.”
While this is a role that feels fundamental for many men, there also needs to be space for them
to express vulnerability.
“Men also want to be able to be emotional, empathic, and nurturing.”
Taback said the mistake often made is to try and promote equality between the sexes as
sameness. “However, a wise woman knows how to heighten difference in order to enhance her
Nevertheless, both masculinity and femininity are about spiritually complementing each other. They’re both coming a little closer to the centre, to find a new kind of harmony.”
Taback’s newest online learning series uses a study of the women of the
Torah as the springboard for spiritual self-exploration.
“Take our matriarchs for example: when you light Shabbos candles and you say, ‘Sarah, Rivka, Rachel’… it seems abstract. After all, who were these women? What were their marriages like? How did they mother? What was their relationship to G-d?

“Well, when you start to learn the texts, you discover that they were outrageous women! They weren’t traditional, they were totally ‘calling the shots’. It’s paradigm-busting.
“You realise that these biblical women are talking to us right now.”

Adaptation from Ohel Rachel, Nidda, chapter 3

While the world has entered a state of social distancing and isolation akin to a nidda status…. I couldn’t help but remember this chapter I translated from Sefer Ohel Rachel years ago, the Hebrew compendium of Torah sources on Jewish womanhood compiled by R’ Shlanger, student of R’ Moshe Shapiro זצ”ל.
I got up to chapter 19 in the project since when I laid it to rest until the time comes when I see it has way forward.  This was chapter 14, the third chapter in the section on Nidda.  The sefer is arranged according to the three mitzvot of women.
 This chapter begins with a general discussion on the essence of the Nidda state and ends with the deeper connotations “when the whole world takes on the state of a Nidda’ (for fuller context, you may need to read the preceding chapters!)  Personally, I think that though never easy, nidda is always good news, since the nidda period is always followed by a process of purification and ultimately intimacy between the couple.  Since our soul-mate is Hashem we are in a time ripe with the potential of mass return to Him (i.e. Teshuva) when He will take us into His embrace, may it be soon! 

[my translation for this chapter starts here.  My comments appear in italics and footnotes]

A good place to start unpacking the deeper spiritual properties of both the nidda and tumah state is by looking at the word itself.

The Ramban speculates that the Nidda concept is related to the Hebrew word מדוה which means “ache” and is associated with the fact that her limbs are heavy upon her at that time. The Ibn Ezra offers a similar suggestion and says that nidda is synonymous with some sort of חולי, illness.[1] What is clear that during menstruation, the very part of her that is pivotal in achieving intimacy is involved in a process of renewal, much like the waxing and waning cycles of the moon. Through experiencing the diminishment of the moons light at its monthly interval when it wanes is the only way to reach its full luminosity in the following cycle.[2] 

Whereby the moon’s waxing and waning happens automatically, the woman’s transition from nidda to tahara takes a conscious choice.  This is the heart of the Tahara – purification process that she actively engages herself in.

A Torah principle is that whatever is happening on a physical realm is an indicator of what is happening on the higher and more subtler levels within a person.  Therefore, the monthly appearance of her menstrual cycle is not just a physical phenomenon but indicates a cleansing and renewal of her entire being; mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  Because the process of shedding and renewal requires her focus and attention to ride with it, she is not totally “available” to actualize the marriage’s full potential.  Engaging in physical connection at a time where her circuits are already occupied so to speak would turn the act into – surprisingly – an immoral one.  The is because the definition of holy union is one where all the faculties and dimensions of both spouses are available and focused on each-other.  Intimacy without the necessary concentration and dedication towards the other relegates the act to the realm of the physical.  This is completely antithetical to holy marital intimacy, in which the physical dimension of the couple’s connection is just the expression of their unity on all the higher levels of their beings. This is actually a definition of all עריות, acts of immorality; where the physical act is stripped from all other layers of appropriate connection within the context of kedusha, holiness.[3]

Just like the Torah prohibits relationships that don’t carry the sanctity and eternal commitment of marriage, the Torah prohibits intimate encounter with one’s wife under nine circumstances which are called the 9 moods, ט’ מידות. All of the “moods” interfere with the internal essence of their relationship to be fully expressed and therefore intimacy under their influence is strictly forbidden and is comparable to עריות, immorality.  They are; drunkenness, mourning, nidda, coercion, thinking about someone other that who one is with, thinking about another wife [when polygamy was permitted], a kohain with a divorcee, and _______.

Nidda is therefore the strong counter-indication to marital intimacy, as is any one of the other nine circumstances [moods].  Chazal teach that children born from a union that took place during nidda or during any one of these moods carry a spiritual blemish.


From the negative we learn the positive; oneness in marriage can only be achieved when both parties are in a state of personal joy and wholeness. This is a profound turn-around from modern thinking that happiness is from some other person, object or experience.  True wholeness comes from inside and it is when a woman is not trying to find her innate wholeness from someone outside of her [i.e. her husband] and takes responsibility for finding it within, she becomes ready to enter into the next phase of intimacy and connection. 

The paradox here is stunning…. On the one hand, intimacy is punctuated by humility, vulnerability and a desire for connection.  On the other hand, every month through the healing process of her menstrual cycle, a woman finds her core within herself again.  Once she has reclaimed her intrinsic wholeness of the woman she is, she is then ready to bond with a man and together the two become something greater than the sum of their parts. 

This is a graceful dance that hinges around subtle paradoxes of selfhood vs. relationship.  Perhaps a woman might absorb the teachings about being a “receiver” so deeply that she feels lost when she in no longer in an active state of receiving.  It is then that she recalibrates and finds her own center and source of wholeness that is not dependent on anyone else, other than Hashem Himself.  She becomes a receiver from Hashem within a deep place within her being and this allows her to heal and renew her feminine capabilities vis a vis her husband.  Being a receiver is not about weakness as much as it is about dedication, commitment, and strength to be a strong vessel. Only women can go and transform through their monthly cycles the way they do, in privacy, in faith, and with patience that the moon with shine its light again soon.  In fact, it is all those qualities that she finds within herself during that phase that herald the redemption of the new moon in its time. Even what is objectively a “curse” has its gifts.


Tahara, purification, makes a clean break from the nidda phase.  The “gift” of nidda, a chance to regenerate, can easily spill over into something much more sinister, namely the sentiment that the woman doesn’t need the connection that the mikve affords.  It is too easy in our modern times to adopt the attitude of autonomy and approach life in this ego-centric way.  A woman knows this is happening to her when the vicissitudes and challenges of life become a wedge between her and her husband, and she deepens further into her own world, carrying life’s burdens on her shoulders alone. This creates within her a feeling of stress and it’s first cousin, exhaustion.  Her disappointment and disillusionment with her husband grow as her reliance on outside sources of validation and appreciation also grow.  Slowly she shifts her focus from being internally defined to externally orientated and to that extent she grows more and more distant from her husband.  This distance becomes the reality for her and it then ironically confirms her doubts and fears, creating a vicious cycle. She doesn’t realize it but her beliefs about her husband have created her reality and her experience of pain and isolation.    

This woman may not realize it but she has allowed the essence of nidda to enter her psyche and begin to define her.  It is no wonder that her shalom bayis starts to show signs of strain.  Life’s challenges, be it with children, health or parnassa, livelihood, become too much to bear, as the couple is dealing with everything that is coming their way from within their isolated inner worlds.

The good news is that through the proper use of bechira, free will, she can purify her mind and soul, not only her body in a mikve.  A small choice to become tahor stirs a monumental shift in her perspective, and she realizes that she can rely on her husband as the G-d given one to help her deal with what life sends their way.  What is important is that they have each-other. According to halacha, Jewish law, as demonstrated by the laws of the Tahara process – the ability to craft such an uplifted and unified relationship is in the wife’s hands. Such is her feminine power.


Let us return to another connotation of the word nidda and its origins. The Targum Unkelus renders the word nidda as ריחוק – distance as in the verse in Vayikra (15,1), תהיה בנדתה – she will be בריחוקה, “distant”.[4]  Similarly, the verse in Yechezkel (Ezekiel 7, 19); וזהבם לנדה יהיה – translated as, “and their wealth will be distant from them”. This is the impurity of nidda, being trapped within the parameters of our own world, unable to allow the fuller context of relationship to penetrate and transform our experience of life.  The essence of Nidda is the mistaken notion that we must go it alone, that G-d is far from us, that if we don’t do it, who will?

In the prophets, (also Ezekiel 36,17) the Jewish people are reprimanded for their smallness of mind (disconnection always starts with the wrong belief about our own smallness within the context of Hashem’s greatness) and subsequent misdemeanors. The Prophet describes their state; ,”כטומאת הנדה היתה דרכם לפני” – “like the impurity of Nidda are your ways before Me”. Similarly, in Ezra (9,11) the verse describes the very land taking on the properties of nidda; “”ארץ נדה היא – “a land that has become defiled (through its abominations).”


How can a land itself take on characteristics of purity or impurity?  How can the deeds of a nation spread to the very soil on which they live?

Moshe Rabbeinu (our teacher) himself explains this to us when he contrasts the Land of Israel with the Land of Egypt (Devarim, 11,10). “Israel is not like the land of Egypt, in which you make use of irrigation to water your crops. The land to where you are headed to inherit is a land of hills and valleys and only through the precipitation of the heavens will you drink water. It is a land that Hashem seeks with special interest and intensity… a land where His eyes are always fixed.”

As I’m sure you are making the connection, Egypt shares the qualities of a nidda consciousnessIt needs no-one and pulls itself up by its bootstraps with its intricate systems of irrigation.  Israel, on the other, known for its mountainous terrain – a place of living life in the raw – in relationship with G-d, with the metaphoric peaks and valleys that that comes with.  (Spiritual life is never flat – it is always striving and reaching, falling and recovering, eventually creating an upward trend of cyclical growth.)  But most importantly, in all its realness, it is connected – receiving its rain from Hashem Himself, Whose watchful eyes never leave it for a moment.  Every tomato is a gift directly from G-d – with no intermediating networks and stop-gaps.  It is this awareness of the Divine within the mundane that sets Israel apart as a land of purity and holiness, the place where Hashem interacts most intimately with His whole creation.  It is a land that not only believes in miracles but relies on them for its very existence.

This is our marriage with Hashem.  Of course, a land can take on the defiled status of its people, when we fail to have the courage to enter into this direct relationship of receiving our needs from Hashem Himself. This is what the prophet meant when he said, “ארץ נדה היא” – this land is impure.  And this is the very reason why it is only in the borders of the land of Israel that we are obligated in the agricultural laws of Terumos and maasros, the tithes that must be taken before any of the produce is consumed.  We are able to perform these laws and all the laws of the Torah when we recognize fully that it is He is who is the source of the bounty, and the whole land becomes the private Home where He lives together with His people.  Pulling the wool over our eyes and pretending that it is a land like any other and we can go it alone puts the land into its nidda state.

So too, being a vessel for the conduit of blessing and being humble enough to acknowledge that conduit transforms the married woman into seeing her life as complete only with her husband.  This shift of the mind creates her purity and is the epitome of her humility.


[1] To this day doctors cannot explain why the same degree of elegance and synchronicity of all the other body’s functions do not appear with the dilemma of what the body does to deal with unneeded blood of the lining of the uterus when conception does not occur.  Hashem could easily have created the uterus to absorb its lining back into the body.   

[2] The moon – woman runs very deep.  The moon is a symbol of malchus, royalty (as is clearly perceivable by the liturgy of kiddush levana, the blessing we make when the moon makes its first appearance in the new month, which is all about the malchus of David Hamelech.

[3] It is striking to note that the Hebrew word for holiness and promiscuity are almost one and the same.  Holiness is vowelized as קדושה, “kedusha”, and a prostitute is pronounced “קדשה”, kedaisha. The root is the same. The essence of the root ק.ד.ש. is sanctity, i.e. designation for a particular relationship.  In the case of holiness, the husband and wife are designated to each-other, and no one else.  In the case of the immoral woman, she is designated to immorality.

[4] The Hebrew root of the word nidda is נד – which means to wander; a strong term for the experience of exile (as kayin was cursed with exile, נע ונד).



Thoughts on Coronavirus: A Consciousness Stream

“We need to stop speaking in the language of the Media [1] and start speaking in the language of Emuna”

It is hard to believe how quickly the world has been called to the mercies of a tyrannical king – and not a human one, at that.  Prophecies describing the end of days and the threat of an evil world power – who would have thought his persona would and could be invisible to the naked eye?    

R’ Ari Shishler, Johannesburg

[1]  The Persians were called “Medes” as in פרס ומדי. 


The Medrash in Song of songs, 2:12 speaks of a plague that will come to the world just before the arrival of Mashiach. 

הַתְּאֵנָה חָנְטָה פַגֶּיהָ, אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּא בַּר אַבָּא סָמוּךְ לִימוֹת הַמָּשִׁיחַ דֶּבֶר גָּדוֹל בָּא לָעוֹלָם וְהָרְשָׁעִים כָּלִים. וְהַגְּפָנִים סְמָדַר נָתְנוּ רֵיחַ, אֵלּוּ הַנִּשְׁאָרִים, וַעֲלֵיהֶם נֶאֱמַר וְהָיָה הַנִּשְׁאָר בְּצִיּוֹן וְהַנּוֹתָר בִּירוּשָׁלַיִם (ישעיה ד, ג):

“The fig tree has formed its young fruit…”R’ Chiya Bar Abba said, shortly before the days of the Mashiach, a great plague will come to the world, and the wicked will perish in that plague…

“And the vines in blossom give forth fragrance” – these refer to the righteous survivors, and regarding them the verse states, “And the survivor will be in Tzion and the remaining one in Jeruslalem…”

(From the Artscroll note:  suffering and pain are symptoms of the world’s decline that must necessarily precede the messianic era.  A new order of existence cannot be established before the previous one has deteriorated….”)

Could this be now?


Speaking of the Medrash in Shir Hashirim, the day that I suddenly stood in attention to the news and spreading fear of the caronavirus (was it last thursday?) the following page opened in my short nightly routine: (see photo above)

I couldn’t believe it.  In front of me, the never before contemplated word, carona, stood out in the text on the page.

The context in the Medrash was that for the 600,000 Jews over the age of 20 (as well as the 600,000 Jews under the age of 20), Moshe declared just before the exodus from Egypt that no-one without a Bris Millah would be able to partake of the Korban Pesach.  Immediately, the males circumcised themselves.  The medrash explains that the circumcision requires three partners, Moshe, Aaron and Yehushua, to assist the males perform the three parts of Bris Milah; make the incision, reveal the carona, and give the male to drink. 

Two weeks ago, I was sitting in my husband’s office at Ohr Sameach speaking to Shifra Hendrie from the Global Geula Summit about the prediction of the Ariz’l on the re-attainment of the “crown” of femininity in pre-messianic times (for more of this, check out the chava course).  While speaking about crowns, she said as if out the blue, “like Carona”.  For some reason, my mind didn’t go to the name of the just starting to become infamous virus but rather to the fact that there are parts of the human body that carry this name.  Clearly, I thought to myself, the anotomical term “crown” (in both English and Hebrew) is a hint to the enormous potential for holiness of marriage and carries deep mystical significance.  I didn’t say anything.

[פריעה – the word used in the context of Bris Millah referring to the revealing of the corona, diverts my attention to another usage of this word, in the world of a woman. The source in the Torah for the mitzvah for a married Jewish woman to cover her hair is found in the section dealing with the suspected infidelity of the Sotah woman (Bamidbar 5:18); וְהֶעֱמִ֨יד הַכֹּהֵ֥ן אֶֽת־הָאִשָּׁה֮ לִפְנֵ֣י יְהוָה֒ וּפָרַע֙ אֶת־רֹ֣אשׁ הָֽאִשָּׁ֔ה וְנָתַ֣ן עַל־כַּפֶּ֗יהָ אֵ֚ת מִנְחַ֣ת הַזִּכָּר֔וֹן מִנְחַ֥ת קְנָאֹ֖ת הִ֑וא וּבְיַ֤ד הַכֹּהֵן֙ יִהְי֔וּ מֵ֥י הַמָּרִ֖ים הַמְאָֽרֲרִֽים׃

“The Kohen shall have the woman stand before Hashem and uncover (reveal) the woman’s head… and in the hand of the Kohen shall be the bitter waters that cause curse.”  Revealing her hair is synonymous with stripping her crown.  From her we learn that a woman’s hair covering is her dignity and a crown upon her head. But perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.]


It is at this time that we feel our human vulnerability with excruciating focus.  Obsession, anxiety and panic have swept our thoughts and conversations.  In the Scroll of Esther which we just read on Purim, we read the word כתר, crown (or carona) in the phrase “כתר מלכות”.  The word crown appears, in fact, three times in the Megillah – and no where else in Tanach even once. Though we can’t fathom the ways of Hashem, it is likely that He leaves a signature on His card as a way to help us find our way Home.  He is a Master Artist of Life, and history is just His-Story unfolding before our eyes.  What does the name Carona indicate to us?  How does it pave a way to our healing? 

In Sefer haTanya by R Shneir Zlamon of Liadi, the crown we wear as a Jew is none other than our Emuna, a super-conscious channel that every Jew has connecting him directly to Hashem.  Emuna lives above and beyond all logic.  It is the only line we have to Hashem that sustains us through any weather.  When we live with this Emuna we are coronating Hashem as King.  It is uncanny that the name for this strain is covid– read: Kavod, the Honor of G-d.  This name carries His stamp.  Baruch Shem K’vod Malchuto L’Olam Vaed – we bring Hashem’s unity to the world when we whisper – blessed is the Name of the of Honor of His kingdom forever and ever.  Kavod – honor – in gematria is 26 (כבד), the numerical value of Hashem’s primary name, shem hovaya.


R’ Yitzchak Ginsburg suggests many gematriot for the Hebrew word “carona”.  One is that קרונה   equalls רפא נא לה – please, heal her, the prayer Moshe prayed for his sister Miriam while she was in quarantine.  So too, the One we ultimately pray for Her total healing is feminine, the Shechina, the lost princess of Hashem, still in exile and waiting to be redeemed. (To hear the lost princess class email info@thenexus.org).


In the plethora of information being circulated, I noted tonight how the coronavirus cannot survive in warmer temperatures. 

This immediately made me think again of the Purim story, of Haman, of Amalek, of whom the Torah says “that they cooled us off on the way”.  Their primary purpose in the world is to infect the Emuna of the Jew and cool down his ardent love of Hashem, stripping the crown of Emuna which sits atop his head.  It is fascinating that this virus, as soon as it is exposed to warmth, dissolves and melts out of existence.  This is a powerful lesson.  Our emuna is our birthright and inborn, always available.  Only that we don’t allow ourselves to be cooled.


N-95, another number with possibly messages to decipher!  R’ Labinsky notes that the name “haman” and the word “the king, hamelech” share the same numerical value, gematria, of 95.  In fact, in the primordial garden when Adam and Chava first ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, Hashem broached their failing with the question (Genesis 3:11) הֲמִן־הָעֵ֗ץ אֲשֶׁ֧ר צִוִּיתִ֛יךָ לְבִלְתִּ֥י אֲכָל־מִמֶּ֖נּוּ אָכָֽלְתָּ׃ “did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” Surprisingly, the words “did you [eat] from” in spell “Haman”!  The moment of lapse – as if Hashem didn’t know! –  that is Amalek,  the antithesis of our Emuna, our knowledge of G-d and devotion to our relationship with Him. 

The word “hamelech” appears 10 times in the Megillah, parallel to the ten “hamans”.  Haman had 10 sons who were hung in the aftermath of his execution, and the phrase Keter Malchus signifies the complete revelation of Hashem into the world through all of His 10 attributes/ sefirot (Keter being the uppermost and Malchut being the final one, representing a complete expression and reflection below as He Is above).


Mashiach is something we know, we believe, but did you ever think we would be living in these unprecendented times?

I knew we were preparing for the Geula.  I never imagined how fast it could be happening.

He who fears Hashem has nothing else to fear.

This is an Emuna game. 

We had best put on our crowns. 


So where to from here?

My son, Shlomo, read to me from the Gemara Bava Kama how to deal with plagues. It advises men and women to take caution when the angle of death is about, and walk gingerly on the figurative sides of the street so as not to taunt the angel.   The Talmud brings several sources of how next to proceed.  There is one verse that keeps sticking out in my mind, from Issai 26:20. לֵ֤ךְ עַמִּי֙ בֹּ֣א בַחֲדָרֶ֔יךָ וּֽסְגֹ֥ר דלתיך [דְּלָתְךָ֖] בַּעֲדֶ֑ךָ חֲבִ֥י כִמְעַט־רֶ֖גַע עַד־יעבור־[יַעֲבָר־] זָֽעַם׃ – “go my people, enter your rooms and close the door ; hide for a brief moment until the wrath has passed.”  These rooms are none other than the spaces of Torah study and our own inner sactums we call homes.  While the birth pangs of mashiach tighten their metallic grip around our bellies as we labor, we breathe.


Let’s tune inward and upward, and savor each moment with those close to us.  Let’s continue giving each-other chizuk and pray that we remain healthy in these pre-messianic times.  Let’s get into the heart of our inner relationship to Hashem.  Let’s turn towards His holy Torah, and perform as many mitzvos as we can – those that most easily surround us within the walls of our own homes.  May Hashem bring a refuah shelaima, refuas hanefesh and refuas haguf to His aching world.


R’ Yitzchak Ginsburg’s other gematria I loved… קרונה = וירא מנוחה כי טוב, speaking about the tribe of Yissachar, devoted to the study of Torah, “they saw rest that it was good”.  Only in Torah is our peace. 


Covid 19. 

This year, for me, was the year of the Chava course.  Not the Chava curse, but the chava course 🙂 – our efforts as women to help bring the tikkun still necessary at this chaotic moment late on the cosmic friday afternoon (considering that moshaich/ shabbos will come as the Shabbos Queen enters if we don’t bring her in early).  Our conscious act of putting on our crowns, and understanding truly what this means.

Chava is 19 in gematria.  Chava is the name of femininity that holds within it the contamination of the serpent (chivya in Aramaic is snake).  (Did they say this virus mutated from snakes?? [2])  May it be Hashem’s will that whatever vestiges of purification that still need to take place from the original sin and sullying of Hashem’s Keter Malchus be quickly and easily cleansed and may we share in the simcha and yeshua of the ultimate redemption very, very soon!

May we shoon shout Mazal Tov! with the delivery of our nation.


The chava course is available now at a special rate in the merit of our redemption!  Join our community HERE.  Enter in coupon code “returnthecrown”[3] for a special entry tuition.

[2] Also cited from R’ Yitzchak Ginsburg – the Aramaic expression of eating food before it is properlyprepared (a variation on the noachide law of not partaking from a live animal)is literally קוֹרְאוֹ נָא, called raw.  This is spells Carona in eery precision, phonetically. See Rashi, Shmot, 12:9. “אל תאכלו ממנו נא. שֶׁאֵינוֹ צָלוּי כָּל צָרְכּוֹ קוֹרְאוֹ נָא בְלָשׁוֹן עֲרָבִי:”

[3] Our sages speak in the language of חזרה עטרה ליושנה – returning the Crown (of Hashem) to its original Glory

I can’t help but comment that our first “Malchut Retreat” took place at my grandparent’s house.  They live on Coronation road.  I took this as a good siman at the time as the retreat took place just before Rosh Hashana.  Read more about Malchut on my Blog/festivals/Hues of Kingship.

The Breathtaking Hidden Story of Esther as our Guide in the Footsteps of Mashiach
The Scroll of Esther: A Secret Teaching Tale for the Evolving Feminine
With Rebbitzen Tamar Taback

Inspired by Purim Bursts, by Sarah Yehudit Schneider, 2007

Powerful insights, tools and inspiration into cultivating an incredible marriage or marriage-to-be


• Why Purim is the cosmic switch-point into our Era and holds within it the secrets of Redemption
• Why the salvation (then and now!) had to come about through a woman
• And Why Rising into your femininity is the order of the day!

• The three phases of all relationships
• How to detangle from enmeshment so that you can choose to love
• And when and how to appropriately exert your feminine influence

Touch on:
• The inner meaning of the Oral Law as a woman, the joys of motherhood as balanced with your own development, cultivating your Emuna and why it is important to keep on learning

All through the Megilla itself, with classical, Chassidic and mystical sources. Source sheets, diagrams and community forum included.

All in a single 1 hour and 50 minute session integrated with emotional and psychological tools

At the Nexus School of Transformational Torah for Women, where the light of Torah meets your life.

“I encourage Jewish women to deepen their connection to Torah well past their years in Seminary…” R’ Moshe Hillel Hirsh, Rosh Yeshiva of Slabotka

“I hope that women will have the wisdom to take advantage of this opportunity…” Rebbitzen Tzipora Heller

*Special for Purim!! It’s Free!! (Offer expires on Purim)
Enter coupon code itsmybirthday when you sign up
For spiritual and aspiring Jewish women

p.s. Did you know that Carona means Crown??
Understand the difference between Vashti’s and Esther’s crowns and why this is key, now …

There is so much happening, as we enter into the orbit of Adar, the month of our joy and pinnacle of our spiritual achievement throughout the entire year.  (Yes, its the last month and the top of the ladder so to speak before we begin a new cycle!)

It is a month of consolidation of all the heights we achieved, all the light we were privy to, as we insert those into the vessels of this world. 

It is so feminine.  So “nexus-y”, bringing light to vessel.  Putting the Emuna into our hearts.  And wearing that special glow we call joy.  

Here’s what’s happening:  read carefully please as most of your questions will be answered here.

This week, in Johannesburg, I am running a single session, consolidating the enormous strides we made into really “getting” the inner essence of our work as women in the 21st century.  We created a map of modern femininity through the mind-blowing paradigm that the Chassidic Torah teachings on Chava presented.  It was gorgeous, bH, and each woman processes and applies it in different ways.  

This Wednesday, we are “taking it home” with a mini-course on Chava. 
In 2 hours.  
I will be focusing on how the emergence of this new paradigm truly answers our pressing questions as modern women.  

Why is marriage so complicated now-a-days?  Why are standard Shalom Bayis classes only helpful to a point?  Why is dating so fraught now-a-days (especially as women get older)? Why are women so torn trying to juggle impossible roles of work and home?  Balance mothering children and their own inner life?  Is there even such a thing??  

I also want to hear what your questions are – as each one of us is living a different facet of the collective feminine archetypal experience.

As you can see, relationships play a prime role in our inner life.

I think that before we get into this, we need a huge frame within which to put it all, to come to grips with who we are at this time and how to make sense out of it.  And then thrive…  

And truly come to fulfill the prediction of our sages “in the merit of the righteous women in the final generation we will be redeemed”.

We cannot become our full selves without going on a healing journey. 

And we cannot go on a healing journey without the light of Torah. 

The mini-course will enable you to join SARAH starting March 4th!  

You need the foundational concepts covered in Chava to crack open Sarah.. and Rivka… and Rachel and Leah… all in good time.

But most of all – to crack open your own heart.

The mini-course is R180 for South Africans.

(Those overseas will have access to it when the video is ready beH.)

If you did the Chava course – this is where we will be taking it home and consolidating it. 

If you are brand new, you will get a mind-blast – I will try to ease the dilation so it doesn’t hurt 😉

The implications are huge and infinite. 

I can’t wait for you to join the community and add your gleanings.


Thank you for all your emails that you are keen to start Sarah.

The thought crossed my mind to wait until after pesach…. it’s a busy time of year for Jewish women…

Yet I know that the single session a week through the month of Adar will infuse our Chagim with incredible joy and energy. 

So we are resuming now  – as promised bH – for four weeks!

“There is no simcha other than the dissolution of doubts… “

Stop doubting yourself and embrace your fullest potential.  You are likely a gifted, sensitive, spiritual, (and humble, of course 🙂 Jewish woman.  

How are you going to channel those gifts to Hashem?  Channel your feminine brilliance to crafting marriages that sparkle, children that glow, friendships that shine, and a heart that sings Hashem’s praises as you go through your day? 

Sarah is OPEN for booking HERE.  

Important: You can only purchase Sarah if:
> you graduated from the Chava course
> you attended a Malchut retreat (in SA or in America)
> you did the crash course in Israel
> you attended the Shabbaton in Israel
> or you participate in this weeks mini-course!

I do recommend, however, even WITH the mini-course – that you do the full Chava course. It is so deep and really takes you on a journey that won’t be possible in a single session.  You can also purchase Chava and Sarah together at a special bundle rate right now HERE.   

PLUS!!! Register for Sarah in the next 3 days and get the PURIM session, (as promised from last year!!), “The Jewish Vision of how Man and Woman will relate when they have healed” – The Book of Esther as our Guide for Accessing Full Feminine Wisdom – FREE in time for Purim.

So here’s the School… follow sign-in buttons and choose your course:

Chava – available now.
regular $149 (10 self-coaching sessions) – opening week special $99 till Mar 1st.  You can move straight on to Sarah when you are ready.
Use coupon code “openingweekchava” for the special. 
click HERE.

Sarah – (see conditions for joining below) released from Mar 4th.
4 light+vessel sessions before Rosh Chodesh Nissan – Regular $59.  Opening week only – $49  plus includes free Purim session
Coupon code: “openingweeksarah”
Click HERE.

Chava plus Sarah –
$129! Opening Week only! until March 1st
use code: “openingweekbundle”
Click HERE. 

Chava mini-course happening live this week in Joburg – reply to this email to join!  R180. 

If you missed the Opening Event, (Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein, myself and R’ Nir Menussi) you can log on here (free) to watch it.

ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר!
To the Jews there was light, joy, gladness and honor.. 

One of the women had this to say; “It’s time we rise above the Chava curse.  Take the Chava course!”  🙂  אמן כן יהי רצון. 

Don’t hesitate to email info@thenexus.org if you have any questions or need any assistance.

Wishing you a wonderful week and Chodesh tov,

3 Free Videos

This past Sunday was a special day.  

After months of anticipation, we finally opened our “makom (place of) Torah” for 2020.  

It has taken until now for me to absorb its light and impact, as well as for the videos to be edited.  I am so happy to share them with you. 


Chief Rabbi Goldstein addressed the fundamental question – how can there be something “new” in Torah, (as in “the “Rise?” of the Feminine”), as Torah is Divine and unchanging?  Together with his wife Gina, he put beautiful words to the phenomenon of meeting Torah where it meets us in each generation, creating a lived experience of our Jewishness that is vibrant and alive.  His excitement for Torah comes through every time he speaks and I appreciated the blessing he extends to all of us. 

Sign in (free) at the school to watch the Chief Rabbi HERE

My talk, “Come, My Bride – the Rise of the Feminine in the Modern Era” was both a deepening for those of you that have been studying with me over the years as well as I hope an apt entry point for those that are new.  It was a tall order, juggling amid my commitments foremost as a wife and mother bH, off the bat of shabbos… but it is precisely when we feel small that Hashem lets us know that He is where we let Him in.  This shiur turned out to be a commentary to the Lecha Dodi prayer that we say every Friday night, a secret reference to the odyssey and calling of Jewish women living late on our “cosmic Friday afternoon”, a.k.a. in the “footsteps of Moshiach”.  It addresses how and why I am teaching this Torah through our mothers, our Imahot, and also goes into the psychological applications of these teachings and what they can start to mean for us.

(I was not meditating.  I had blinked 🙂

Sign in (free) to watch my presentation HERE

Rabbi Nir Menussi picked up where I left off and asked the question from a man’s perspective – where does all this leave the men?  What are the new tensions that arise in relationships, in shidduchim, in marriage?  He too quoted from his wife and spun a very enriching tale pregnant with meaning and guidance for the women of our generation.  He traveled all the way from Israel to be with us and is the author of the new release “Who is this Rising?” about femininity in the modern era upon who’s manuscript I have based the Rise! into your Feminine Series.  It was so appropriate having him with us. (The book will only be available in English in the next couple of years.)

Sign in (free) to watch R’ Menussi HERE

We are starting next week!  Stay tuned in your inbox for all info.


Here is a small poem I wrote while preparing for my Opening shiur based on the Lecha Dodi prayer.  (Check out my blog if you want more commentary, in footnotes.)

We are approaching the cosmic Shabbos, the 7th millennium feminine phase 
Of pleasure and bliss when the moon’s regained light will defy human gaze 

On Shabbos “Observe” and “Remember” come as one, equal and aligned, 
This represents the feminine and masculine in consummate meeting refined… 

The story of Dovid is the story of Malchut and the moon 
The lowness of dust becomes a redemption tune

…The daughters of Peretz, the moon that bursts forth
In her roundabout melody, till infinity will soareth…

A crown unto creation… she enters, the Bride 
The one who ushers in reality’s better side… 

Wishing you a beautiful Shabbos,

Much love,